


The sun went out (and you brought it back)

by Glowsquid



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Brother-Sister Relationships, Campaign 1 (Critical Role), Canon-Typical Violence, Comfort, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fear, Gen, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Gore, Panic Attacks, Sibling Love, Swearing, Team as Family, Vax and Vex share clothes fight me, Vax'ildan and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day, Whump, cause it's vax, vox machina - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-13 20:06:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19258270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glowsquid/pseuds/Glowsquid
Summary: Vax'ildan gets hit with Phantasmal Force while battling an evil mage.Some things you can't just shake off.





	1. The Incident

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: a little while ago I edited some of the details of this fic (for example, it was Fear instead of Phantasmal Force in the original, the warlock became a wizard, etc) and now I'm much happier with the finished result. Sorry if it's confusing, or if you liked the original better. The fundamental aspects of this fic are still the same, don't worry. 
> 
> So this is my first CR fanfic. 
> 
> I love two (2) stealth twins
> 
> Enjoy the hurt! (And eventual comfort, don't worry)

"Vax, duck!" 

Vex's cry rang out across the battlefield, echoing off the circle of stones that surrounded their party and the furious wizard they were battling. Vax hit the ground just as an arrow whizzed over his head. In midair it burst, splintering into three shafts and burst with electrical energy, turning into three missiles of lethal lightning. All three hit their mark, shattering the wizard's arcane shield and piercing his body. Roaring with energy, the crazed mage tried to counter with another spell, but his arcane energy was sluggish. He was growing weaker by the second. _Time to end this, now._

In the wake of his sister's attack, he darted forward, keeping low to the ground as he lunged at his enemy. Knives glinting in the setting sun, he lept forward, reaching out…

Just as the wizard spun to face him, gaze boring down into Vax's eyes with intense fury. 

And suddenly - as his blades connected, ripping open soft flesh - it wasn't the wizard in front of him anymore. He disappeared, Vax knew not where. 

In his place was Vex. 

Her dark eyes were wide, frozen in pain and confusion. A choked sound made its way past her lips, along with a stream of wet, warm blood. She gazed down in shock, where Vax’s blades had just torn open her abdomen.

Then, she stumbled forwards. Her hands, stained with her own blood, flew to Vax's shoulders to catch herself. She coughed wetly, then moaned as the pain overtook her. 

_No. No, it can't be._

How did she get here? He could have sworn the wizard had been right in his line of sight, Vex was halfway across the courtyard. She should have been safe. 

_No, no, no, no, no!_

He needed to call for help - for Pike, Keyleth, Scanlan, anyone - but he couldn't make a sound. He lowered her to the ground, her hands still grasping weakly at his shirt. 

"Vax," she whispered, then gagged on a mouthful of blood. "Vax, why?" 

"No, no, I- Vex, please." 

He hardly knew what he was saying. He wanted to run. He wanted to throw up. He wanted to know what the fuck was happening, and why his better half was currently bleeding out in his arms. 

"Hold on, Vex, hold on, please. I can save you, I promise. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

But it was too late. As he watched, her lips sighed out one last breath and her body slackened. The light drained out of her once-lively brown eyes. 

Vax screamed. 

This couldn’t be happening. It had to be impossible. He gripped her hand and screamed again. Vax had seen much over the years. He knew how cruel the world could be, but this horrified him like nothing had before. 

He bowed over her body, sobbing, as he desperately clung to his sister's corpse. Vex's armor was coated in her blood, and it smeared on Vax's hands and clothes and face as he pressed his forehead to her chest and howled with grief. It was never supposed to end this way. He was supposed to protect her. _He was supposed to keep her safe._ He had promised their mother, he had promised Vex, and he had failed. She had died as he gutted her like he would a monster and now there was nothing he could do to take it back and oh gods, he couldn't live without her. He couldn't breathe without her, _he couldn’t breathe-_

And then the strangest feeling washed over him as if he had just woken up from a deep sleep. He was kneeling on the flagstones, trembling like a newborn kitten, Vex rushing toward him with a worried expression. 

“Brother, are you alright?"

_Wait. Vex? No, she was just-_

But she wasn't. The space where she had lain only a moment ago was empty. He looked at his hands, pressed against the cracked stones. The palms were callused, there was dirt under his fingernails, and his knuckles were scraped and bruised, but the blood that had coated them a moment before was gone. He looked back, certain that the vision of Vex would have vanished, but she was still there, right in front of him now. Breathing, blinking, moving. Alive.

"Everything's fine now, darling. Are you back with me?"

What? No, nothing was fine. Vex was dead, he had been sure of it, hadn't he? He had seen the life leave her, felt the warm, slippery blood spurting out of her gut, but now she seemed to be- 

“Vax? Talk to me, alright? How are you feeling?”

Somewhere behind him, Scanlan's voice said, “He’s hyperventilating.”

Then, much closer, was Percy’s voice in his ear. “Breathe deeply, Vax. Slow down. Inhale and count to four: one, two, three, four, now out. That’s it. Breathe with me.” 

As Percy coached him through breathing, he reached out for Vex. She met him in the middle, and his fingers touched warm, living skin as she took his hands in hers and rubbed soothing little circles on his wrist with her thumb. 

He clung to her as he slowly regained his composure. When his breathing had calmed, Keyleth said in a small voice, “He cast something on you, Vax, a Phantasmal Force. Whatever you saw, it’s not real. Everything’s fine, we promise.” 

_Of course._ It came back to him, then. He had heard of such spells before: ones that could manifest your worst fears or make you believe any illusion was real. He should have known, honestly. What he just witnessed wasn't real, only an effect of the spell. The real Vex was right in front of him, very much alive, and holding his hand. 

"Yes, brother, I'm real," Vex said, her voice tight with worry. "It's all over.”

"And that dick?" Vax winced at the sound of his own voice, still hoarse from screaming. 

"Quite dead," Percy told him.

 _Thank the gods._ Well, the enemy was eliminated, Vox Machina had saved the day again, and Vex was real and alive and well, so he had nothing more to worry about.

So he told himself, at least. 

He let Vex pull him to his feet and arranged his face into a plucky grin. “Thanks, everybody, it's been great fun. Let's see if we can repurpose any of this asshole's stuff, shall we?"

Keyleth frowned. “Sure, Vax. But are you sure you’re alright?”

“Don’t worry, we all have a bad trip sometimes. I’m fine.” He gave Vex’s hand a squeeze before dropping it completely. She let it go, but he could tell she was reluctant. 

In fact, all of Vox Machina seemed reluctant to move on. They were all nursing wounds of their own, but their attention was on the twins, worry apparent in all of their expressions. He wished they would stop. He was fine. Vex was okay, he was okay, they could all move on and forget this ever happened. 

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter there will be snuggles


	2. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back at the camp, Vax struggles to put the events of the day behind him so he can get some damn sleep already. 
> 
> Vex is the only one who can help.

Wrong.

He turned over again in his makeshift bed with a sigh. He needed to sleep, badly. It had been a long day, and the battle with the dark mage had been taxing. His body ached for rest. 

And yet…

He hated to admit it to himself, but the incident with the spell had shaken him badly. He couldn't close his eyes without seeing her again, blood dribbling from her lips as she faded away before his eyes. 

_Stupid,_ he thought to himself. _It wasn't even real, get the fuck over yourself already._ But the images returned unbidden to his mind. 

Damn. One regular afternoon turned into a shitty day because of some mild hallucination. He should be better than this. Stronger than this. It shouldn't have gotten to him so badly.

Nevertheless, here he was. Restless in his bedroll, imagining the same scene over and over again. Vex with his knives sticking out of her chest. Vex with her intestines pouring out of her stomach. Vex falling against him leaving her blood on his clothes. Vex's eyes clouding over as she breathed her last. Vex gone forever. 

He sat up sharply, flinging his blanket aside. With chagrin, he realized his hands were shaking slightly. 

_Fuck_. He needed to see her. As much as it felt like a little child running to mummy after a bad dream, he needed to reassure himself that she was alright. He poked his head out of his tent and cast a furtive glance around the camp. Grog was on watch, attention fixed on the darkness beyond the circle of light, and Vax was able to sneak behind him and slip into Vex’s tent unnoticed. 

She looked peaceful in sleep, no worried crease in her brows or lips pulled into a frown. Instead, her face was slack and unworried and her mouth was parted slightly. Vax intently watched the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. His beautiful, wonderful sister: alive. 

So why did the sick feeling in his stomach still linger? 

It hadn't helped. He still felt tense and on edge. He should leave, let her rest unobserved, and sort out his emotional problems by himself. 

But as he turned to leave, he heard her say "What's wrong, Vax?"

Her voice sounded gravely and tired, and Vax cursed himself for waking her.

"Nothing, nothing at all, dearest. Thought you might have stolen my clean pair of breeches, but you haven't got them so I guess I just misplaced them, I'll be going now-" 

"Vax," she admonished as she sat up, hair flattened on one side and flying in all directions on the other. "Something's been troubling you since the fight in the courtyard. I can see it, plain as day."

And dammit, she absolutely could. She knew him better than anyone. Nothing slipped past her when it came to her twin. Lying about this was going to be tricky. 

"It's really nothing, Vex. I'll be fine after a good sleep." 

"What did you see? When he cast that spell on you, I mean. That's what's been bothering you, hasn't it?" 

Fuck him dead, she was good. 

"It… it was nothing, promise. I'm fine now, so- don't do that."

She was looking at him in that irritating way she had, as if he was a small child lying about stealing sweets. "Don't do what?"

"You're giving me that look again. I hate that look. Don’t chastise me like I’m a little child, you're not my mother."

He saw the look of hurt that flashed across his sister's face and instantly wished he could take it back. What has he even been thinking? He wasn't even trying to hurt her, he just…

"I'm sorry, that was cruel," he said contritely as he sat down cross-legged in her tent. "Forgive me?" 

She still looked subdued, but nodded.

Vax sighed. How best to say this?

"When that piece of shit mage fucked with my head, I saw you."

She pulled her legs in, hugged her shins, and rested her chin on her knees. Her expression was intent, encouraging him to continue. 

"I was running at him, I was trying to go in for a kill. But when I attacked, suddenly he was just gone, so instead of cutting him open, I hit you instead."

She gasped softly. "Oh, Vax."

"And, well, you sort of died in my arms. And you were in so much pain. And it was all my fault, you know? I didn't know what was happening, only that I _killed_ you, and-" 

He had to take a moment to steady his breathing and swallow hard around the lump in his throat. 

Vex didn't say anything, she only held out her arms. 

He leaned into them and buried his face in her neck as she embraced him. He remembered Percy's advice earlier and tried to calm himself. 

"I'm sorry, Vax," she whispered. "That must have been awful." 

"It was," he choked. "I thought I killed you, Vex, your blood was literally all over my hands and-" 

"Shhhh, shhhhh, it's alright now, I'm alright."

He pulled out of her hug.

"I know, but still I can't close my eyes without seeing you lying there and-" he shrugged helplessly. "I can't get it out of my head. I almost wish Clarota would suck out my brain so I could just stop thinking about it " 

She reached out a hand and cupped his cheek in her palm. Vax closed his eyes and leaned into it. 

"Vax, if someone made me see that? Killing my brother? I'd, well, I would hardly be able to stop thinking about it either. It's alright to still be shaken by this."

"Maybe, but I don't want to be. I want to just forget it ever happened."

"Well, I can't help you with that. Would… would you like to stay here tonight?" 

Vax blinked. It had been years since they snuck into each other's rooms when they just couldn't bear to be apart and holding hands until they fell asleep. It was a thing of their youth, sleeping together for comfort when they were children or out of necessity when they were struggling to stay off the streets and there was no room to spare.

However, returning to his own cold, lonely tent seemed unbearable. 

"Yes, please." 

She lay back down and wordlessly he joined her, slipping underneath the thin covers, nestling into her side like he had always done. She draped an arm over his waist and kissed his temple, murmuring “Good night, Vax.”

“Good night, Vex.”

He slept soundly after that. Sleep always came easy when he was with Vex. 

And if in the morning the others were surprised to see Vax emerge from Vex’s tent instead of his own, they didn’t mention it. 

They were wonderful that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~No, I'm not projecting because I haven't seen my sister in months and I miss cuddling with her until we fall asleep what are you talking about~~
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Please leave a comment if you enjoyed this fic, are soft for the stealth twins, or just think snails are kinda cute.


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